Some days...

some days i feel like i can change the world.

some days i feel like i cant go on anymore.

some days i can beat everything that is thrown.

some days i can't shake feeling alone.

some days i think i have found what's beautiful.

some days i think i'm just a fool.

Wow...these last couple of weeks have been kind of crazy! Those few lines pretty much sum it up!

Alot of writing has been going on! Some days I went in circles without any kind of hope that what i was pitching out to write was junk! Those are stressful days! I'm so thankful for co-writers. They make all the junk I say into something beautiful! haha Of course we go round and round with alot of things trying to get them just perfect! Hopefully those days won't come often anymore! I had kind of gotten in a rut with having some bad writing days in a row but thankfully I had a few days off and I flew home.

I didn't even know how great that would help.

To see what normalcy looked like again.

To remember what it was like to go through my days at Tech...oh how easy that was! haha

but I love writing..the process..and everything about it!

Well this week has kind of been a slow/fast week! haha I don't even know if that makes sense! Not much writing has been going on but I've still been doing alot!

The other day Krissy(my sister) and I got up at 4am to go watch Carrie Underwood & Brad Paisley on Good Morning America! We didn't even know we'd end up on TV! haha but it was well worth getting up early and seeing them! I have so much respect for both of them! I've attached some pictures from that morning! :)

soundcheck 5am!

but so far things are going great! I haven't mentioned this but I have been posting videos here so if you would like to keep up/follow a little bit there is where you can find them! :)

well i'm off for today!

Dreamin' & Believin'

the sweetest thing...

Ok...so I know I have showed a video similar to this on here but I just love this one!

It is truly the sweetest thing. For them to even like to listen to my demo CD is amazing but to know the words to one of my songs and sing along is INCREDIBLE. I can't tell you what kind of feeling it gives me! It's such an honor. I already know this is way better than ever winning an award!

When I left for Nashville I told them I was going to make "10 more" for them since that one is getting played over and over again(Sorry Kim & Ken!) so every time I talk to them they ask if I'm still in "Nash-y-ville" making some more songs! haha So don't worry guys..I'm still here making 10 more. Hopefully you will like these even more than that one!

and on a little side note:

hopefully YOU will like them too! :) I really can't wait for you to hear them! The writing sessions have been going GREAT! working with Don is truly an honor! the vision we both have for the album has been right on so far! but more updates on that coming soon!

here are...

My favorites...

(don't forget to scroll to the bottom and pause the music)

although I couldn't believe I accidently cut Sydney out of the video but I was having to be very discreet or they would not have sung with the camera on them!

I hope this made you smile today!

Dreamin' & Believin' & FOREVER Thankful

it's a love story...& the best is yet to come...

“i know i say too much. get too involved. i’m passionate to the point of looking foolish. i am over my head and underqualified, but this i am sure of: i love.”

yes. if I have learned anything about myself it is that. If I care about anything it is with all I have. I don’t want to live a “half-sy” life. at least that is what i strive not to do!

I tell you that to say this....I feel 2 very different emotions today.

1. hurt that some of you are bound in chains of some sort.

2. loved beyond belief and i want you to feel that.

Honestly if I think about it...they are directly relatable.

I know some of you feel like you are being held captive by something while anything and everything around you is being destroyed.

I wasn’t going to be so abrupt with all of this but I can’t seem to find another way of putting it. Some of you might go through a whole day without even thinking about God or satan. thats ok. some of you are burnt out with all of the “God/satan” talk and just want to live your life. thats ok too. I don’t want you to stop reading because you feel like it doesn’t apply and honestly you just don’t want to hear it today.

but wait...

wait until you reach the end of this. it’s beautiful. i promise.

Before we reach the end though..I want you to know a few things.

know that when you see others that aren’t confined and held captive by something and for the life of you, you don’t know how to become one of them. it’s possible.

Keep fighting. it’s worth it.

No matter the time you are in right now, excruciating or not,

you can have a “then”.

you can have an “after”.

you can have a “dreams come true”.

for those that have given their life to Christ.

you DO have a “then”..

you DO have an “after”..

and

you DO have a “dreams come true”

after the rain you will be able to say THEN... after this time you will be able to say THEN. ..of course what follows are the beautiful pages to your story.

this is why those pages follow...

“God loves us. He prepares an inconceivable place for those who receive His love. He highly esteems those who choose to believe His call over the paralyzing screams of their own insecurities.”

so no matter your insecurities, the hate you have stored, feelings of not being strong enough or good enough, feelings of being rejected...you will have a THEN because you are loved more than all of that.

now here’s the 2nd part...

we are missing something.

we are missing the love of God by missing the love for one another. (read that again)

I know I have talked about this before but I’ve just recently finished the study of John. John...the one whom Jesus loved. the one that was so “in touch” with ones emotions and knew the magnitude of loving people.

He saw Jesus.

He saw Heaven.

He saw Satan.

He saw Satan bound in chains then released, then doomed. He knew what he looked like, he knew what Jesus looked like, he witnessed the incredibleness and perfectness of heaven and yet...after all of that just simply wanted to love people. think about that for a second...he saw all of that yet one of his main priorities was telling people to love one another...

now... it has taken me 22 years to see a glimpse of Christ’s abounding love for us. I feel as though it was from partly being naive and partly carelessly being unaware. Now I know that we will never ever ever fully know how much Christ loves us. never.

but I can say that I have seen just a piece of it. It’s an incredible feeling when God places people in your path that you love with

no judgement.

no condemnation.

no criticalness.

but...

pure joy.

pure unselfishness.

pure intentions.

and they do all the same in return. this is what the disciples were to one another. “they shared deep interpersonal relationships. they worked together, traveled together, ate together, slept under the stars together. they saw wonders and horrors together, they grieved and hoped together.” they were together.

find those people for your life because this is what it creates...

here’s the end to what I want you to hear.

you’re living a love story. (whether you really want to or not)

the pain & anguish coincides with a love that burns so deep you hurt when you don’t feel it.

a love story in that it will hurt sometimes. there might be chains. there will be tears. there will be unimaginable sorrow.

but there will also be love. smiles and laughter. unspeakable joy and happiness.

this is the part where the chains & love coexist. this is what makes the fight worth it. loving is what gives us a THEN.

so no matter which side of the story you’re on right now...

know that its a beautiful ending...

know that its already a happily ever after...

know that the best is yet to come!

Dreamin' & Believin' in you always

(All quotes from The Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore.)

Ken...

as you might notice...this entire blog is for one sole purpose. to magnify and glorify the life of

Ken Gassiot.

some might think this is a little obsessive.

however...

it isn't.

It was brought to my attention that he was not mentioned in this blog at all...thats awful...it's a shame. for the friends and family and all others who do not know him...I'm allowing you an opportunity to meet him.

I felt as though no one should go through their life without meeting someone as awesome as he is!

Here is a little history of how I met Ken.

I was co-leading a bible study and our leaders were Ken & Kim. Now..through this blog alot is mentioned of Kim and "her family". She has been my mentor since August '08 and for the past year I spent alot(that is with great emphasis) of time at her house. They both opened up their family and welcomed me right in..which I'm forever grateful!! However..Ken isn't mentioned at all but just as "her family"...so..I wanted you all to know that not only has Kim impacted my life but Ken has too! :) Like...my love for the Golden Girls has grown, I also love Steel Magnolias("GUILTY") & 9 to 5 even more than I already did! I have become a little "cheaper" because of him...and I laugh alot more! We understand the meaning of good quality friendships and maintaining those past the "ive been busy" line.

So thank you Ken Gassiot for being who you are and loving life and people along the way! The world is a better place with you in it! However...there would be more big hair without you.

there are too many stories I have with Ken but here is a recent favorite..

He calls me...puts the phone in his pocket so I can hear the conversations going on at a funeral home. Then ventures into other "viewing" rooms to see the deceased and tell the family how lovely they look...

yes...

he did...

with all sincerity!

there was no mocking..no jokes..he was sincere!

ridiculous. amazing but ridiculous.

So I hope you enjoyed this post and dedication blog!

HELLO FROM NASHVILLE!

I feel as though this blog will need a Warning label. A warning in that there is so much to say with all very different emotions. It probably won't be as organized as my other blogs! So I apologize in advance for that!

I'll just be up front and honest with you...sometimes I feel as though I am too up front and honest with you. :)I know we're friends and through these writings maybe we will become family.

I know in my last blog I said there was a whirlwind of emotions. well little did I know what was coming. I experienced the incredible sadness of goodbyes and the excitement of a new adventure all at once. I suppose a lot of people go through this. I'm not sure why I thought I might be excluded from all of this. Realizing that so many things will change forever. But left trying to figure out what will remain constant.

I have often been asked the question

"Am i getting "settled" in Nashville?"

yes.

no.

sort of.

I never know how to answer that! lol not because it's uneasy, not because i call it "home", not because of anything but that with who/how I am...I can live out of my suitcase and be "settled".

So..to answer your question. yes. I'm all settled in. :) (i still haven't unpacked all of my bags! ;-) )

Moving on.

I had a few days off before starting the new album and I decided to visit some of my favorites to spend some sweet time with them! If you know anything about me or if you don't..you're about to...my most favorite thing is to simply hang out with people that mean alot to me! i love it!

well after that I went to Canton with my mom, sis, nanie, aunts and a few cousins! Can I just tell you CRAZY. it was alot of fun! I'm not sure I have ever seen that many people in one teeny tiny town! lol oh the things people will do for arts & crafts! haha but all in all...we had alot of fun! :)

moving on again...

This week has been a BIG WEEK!

I started writing for the new album Monday.

love it.

love it.

love it.

I canNOT wait for you to hear it! maybe I can get you some "sneak peeks". I will definitely keep you posted on that! I can't ask for a better start with the album! I hope you're left wondering.."MAN I WANT TO HEAR IT." perfect. it's awesome! haha

I miss you all! I hope you are doing well!

This is me saying hi as a new Nashville resident!

preserved

As i sit with tear-stained cheeks, and an ache that echoes deep, I cant help but think God that you are here. Right here. You’ve been here...waiting patiently. You’ve known all along that this day would come, when I was tired of fighting alone on my own. There’s a waging war against my soul that tells me I’m not good enough. Just give up. Tucked away in the silence of an empty room, it’s what I’ve forgotten to do. All the strength I have only brings me to my knees. and no song can make this better to sing. I’ve run for too long thinking all my good deeds would please you, I was wrong.

But I don’t want to run.

I don’t want to hide.

I just want to be in your arms tonight.

You knew. You knew. As I wrote these words the verse at the bottom of the page became You speaking to the very depths of my being.

The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil; He shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Psalm 121:7-8

You knew. What my heart needed to hear. What my mind needed to grasp. As I looked up the meaning of preserve, I was amazed at what you truly meant by this verse.

To guard

To shield

To adore

To comfort

To hold

To shelter

To value

To sustain

To maintain

To cherish

To fancy

To nurture

To fight for

To provide sanctuary

To bless

To hold sacred

To be a refuge

To rescue

To ransom

To save

To protect

To defend

To keep from falling

To carry

To preserve.

It means all that and more. My mind can’t grasp that one small word can mean so much more. That one word can save me, protect me, carry me, defend me, cherish me, adore me, bless me, & rescue me. And not just preserve from ALL evil. But to preserve your very SOUL. Your soul. not just in coming in but in going out. in whatever you do, you are being preserved by the Lord. Although we don’t deserve to be preserved for a day, for an hour ,for a minute, not even for a second, but The very God who has created us and everything around us and in us, is preserving us FOREVER.

Before I realize the tears have stopped and there’s the smile that You have given me. Knowing that You’re here. You’ve been here. It was me who left but as I return I see that all along you are preserving me from evil, you are preserving my soul. You have kept me from falling so the world can see You instead of me.

So I don’t want to run

and I don’t want to hide

I just want to be in Your arms tonight.

lost sight...new beginnings! :)

As I sit and realize just how long it has been since I have blogged, I caught myself reading my older blogs. This past month has been a whirlwind, let me tell ya! But as some big decisions are being made my mom has told me over and over to go and re-read my blog. I did. I realized I had lost sight of everything that I had said just a month earlier. I realized that everything I've tried to become, I have been so afraid to step through those doors that I've been hesitant to even become that very thing. I didn't want to jump for fear of falling into something unknown and fail.

I went to Nashville at the end of July and met some incredible people. Just as I thought I had my life planned out and was preparing myself for the "10 years" it takes to break into the industry, God had some different plans. Yes...it still make 10 years but that is something I do not want to plan. I was planning on staying in Lubbock for another year(just as I had said in my graduation announcements from Tech) only to discover that God has some much bigger plans!

As I said, I met some incredible people! One being a producer. His name is Don Koch. We talked quite a bit while I was there and I knew that this was my next big step to take! I am SO EXCITED and honored to be able to take part in this with Don!

I will be moving to Nashville in the next couple of weeks! It has been a roller coaster of emotions for all of it! Of course it is SO HARD to leave all that I've known for the past 4 years! To leave the people I love to pursue what I know God is calling me to do! I know sometimes it isn't always easy to do that and I know that's ok, although it doesn't make it any easier to leave! It is such a bittersweet time!

Attached is a video of my mentor/hero/best friend's oldest son and daughter singing a song I wrote awhile back! It is why I keep doing this! It makes it all worth it!

While in Nashville, I will begin writing and then working on a new album! I cannot wait for you all to hear it! Can I just tell you how excited I am for this new project!!!! AHH!!

While I'm there I promise to update more often!! :)

Smilin' and Dreamin'